


Marry, Kill, Fuck

by TheBeautyOfTarth



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-21
Updated: 2016-12-21
Packaged: 2018-09-10 20:04:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8937184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBeautyOfTarth/pseuds/TheBeautyOfTarth
Summary: "who would you marry, who would you kill and who would you rather fuck and why?" his brother asked him





	

Brienne stayed at school late. she was taking advantage of the solitude that a Friday evening usually provides for the freak and socially awkward -like herself- to clear her space in the locker room.

Today practice had been brutal, Jaime Lannister, star quarterback of the KL high -and the most popular guy in school- had been tackling her through the whole practice. In fact, he had been doing it for most of the practices when they had to play in different teams.  since the begging of the season he had been a constant pain in her butt. She had the slightly impression he hated her but that was fine with her, she hated him and sometimes also tackled him in turn, _hard._ Besides, he wasn't the only one from the team that hated her, the list was long, from coach Tarly passing through Loras Tyrell, running back of the team, to the water bearer just because she was a _girl_ playing a men sport _better_ than them. Mr. perfect could wait in line to bother her as far as she cared.

Besides, it was thanks to him She was dirty, bruised, tired and irritated. the only thing she wanted to do right now was to go home, enjoy a hot bath, put on her pajama pants and curl on her bed for the weekend with a good book for company.

That was the bad thing about being the only female on the team. Since the locker room wasn't unisex and there weren't others available at the time, coach Tarly made her wait until the guys finished cleaning themselves and emptied the locker room in order to her to be able to make use of the facilities. Waiting for 20 stinking men to shower and fool around after each practice was complicated so she rarely stayed. she preferred to walk back home right after training. Although once a month she tried to keep her locker tidy at least.

She was tossing some unnecessary things on her bag when She heard voices thought the corridor coming her way. She could recognize those voices anywhere, one was the same deep voice that called her 'wench', 'freckles' and 'ugly face' wherever she went and the other was his infamous brother, he had to since she just heard the words 'sex', 'tits' and 'wine' used in a sole sentence.

 She wasn't in the mood to deal with the Lannister prick and his dwarf brother, He probably would come to retrieve something from his locker. At this hour, the students were eager to leave the school, he probably would go immediately too, no need to bear his mocking she thought and made to hide near the showers, as far as the door as she could. She would wait for them to leave and then finish cleaning her space, grab her belongings and leave. Lannister would never notice she was there on the first place. She made to hide behind the las row of lockers just in time.

"Come on Jaime it's fun to play. One more time please"

“It’s not, you just made me choose between Oberin Martell, Dany -the pyromaniac creep- Targaryen and Theon Greyjoy”

“I still can't believe you would rather kill Danny than fuck her, she is hot”

“That's because you keep choosing crazy girls to pick from”

“And that you would marry Oberin”

“Believe me, I wasn't enthusiastic of the idea either but you left me no choice”

“Ok, let’s play some more”

"This is rather boring but I will humor you just one more time little brother"

“The next participants are Asha Greyjoy" Tyrion gave his brother a wicked smile and proceeded “Pia Rivers" Jaime chuckled "and Brienne Tarth" it wasn't funny anymore, his face was hard. "who would you marry, who would you kill and who would you rather fuck and why?"

'WHAT?' Was this a bad joke? She didn't want to hear this, she searched another exit with her eyes even though she knew they were none but the one they just entered "This is a difficult one Tyrion” he scratched his jaw "I’ve heard Asha is crazy and also kind of a lesbian and Pia, she is sweet but she's obsessed with me since last year, keeps throwing herself at me every chance she gets.  She gives me the creeps" Asha was her friend but she had to agree with Jaime, she once tried to convince her to start _exploring her sexuality_ she had said, and offered herself if she wanted _help_. She politely declined and assured her she was, in fact, very straight (even though the guy she fancied, Renly Baratheon, was not).

"None of that matters, this game is just hypothetical" It might be hypothetical but still none the less offensive, talking about women like that, it wasn't making them look any good on her eyes "For my part I wouldn't care if she's crazy, I bet she likes kinky stuff in bed and I’m up to it”

"Hold your horses little man, she might be good for sex but not for marrying"

“believe me I know, but I’m not the kind of guy that wishes to marry either, but _you_ on the other hand…Who would you marry dear bother?”

"Good question. Mmm, I guess I’d marry Brienne"

She was dumbfounded _'beg pardon?_ I think I didn't hear correctly'

"I thought you didn't even like her"

"I can't even bear the sight of her"  'asshole' she thougth "But the truth is I think She could be my perfect companion. We like the same things, martial art and action films, we both collect medieval weaponry replicas, she loves Pentoshi food and so do I, and obviously we both like sports very much. That's why I’m choosing her"

'Omg, how does he know all that about me?' as if reading her mind, the younger Lannister asked "How do you know those things about her? You two barely speak out of the practice yard" Jaime shrugged "I don't know. I notice stuff"

"You would really choose her as wife over the other two hot chicks?"

"she is not exactly my type but ..."

"Well, she certainly is blonde enough" Jaime glared at him "sorry" Tyrion at least had the decency to look ashamed of his own comment but Jaime proceeded "What l mean is... I’m just being practical ok? A wife is for life and I’d rather have a little challenge every single day of my life with the wench than a boring marriage with Pia. The less marrying a psychopath that could easily murder me on my sleep. At least the wench has honor, she would attempt it while I can defend myself"

'True enough I guess. And was that a compliment?'

"Ok, fair enough. Next question then. Who would you fuck?"

"Brienne" She couldn't believe her ears _'say what?!'_ She was sure if she could see her face in a mirror she would only see her cheeks tomato red

"You can't choose the same person Jaime"

"Who says so?"

"The rules of the game"

"Fuck the rules" he said "I choose Brienne again. Haven't you seen her ass?"

"Believe me I’ve seen it and everyone's for that matter, they're all in my field of vision. I’m a dwarf if you haven't noticed" Jaime laughed hard at Tyrion’s statement

"Then little brother you must know she's got the best ass in all the school, and legs. I mean, they're fucking long"

'What? Omg, the practices, is that why he always insists on me being his center when we are on the same team? Had he been looking at my… rear the whole time?' she could die from embarrassment right then and there

"Sorry, I haven't noticed. She is not my type of girl big brother. I favor mine with ample bosom and a little bit shorter" Tyrion rubbed his hands together “Ok then, lets sum up. You would marry Brienne under the premise you both have hobbies in common and in addition you would also dance the horizontal tango with her because somehow you manage to get a boner each time you admire her fine posterior”

"Not always!" He protested

"whatever you say Jaime. let's keep going shall we. Who would you kill then?"

Jaime grinned and Tyrion groaned "you know better than anyone I’m a one-woman man dear brother"

End.

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t know if you remember that I mentioned I had the slightly chance to get George Martin's autograph. I did got it and meet him. he was so kind to autograph some books for his fans when he was at my city and I was lucky enough to be one of them. I barely could remember my English when I was in front of him and I don't even think I made sense when it was my turn, I was so excited. I still can't believe it but it really happened. Anyway, at the speech he gave at the book fair they asked him about Jamie's and Brienne's relationship and unsurprisingly he avoided to answer it. And my favorite part was when he called joffrey a "little shit" lol.  you can watch the whole video here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmJMbDzH_NA


End file.
